{Losing My Vision}

I've been away for awhile now because I've been dealing with some personal health issues.  Last June I gave birth to our sweet girl Landry 2 months early due to severe preeclampsia.  I had it with our first daughter too but not as severe.  So long story short my blood pressure was high.  It averaged between 165/90 to 179/102.  I was experiencing headaches and vision loss.  I knew from my history it was  because the blood pressure was so high.  I asked my doctor on call several times to please prescribe me a BP medication.  He wouldn't.  Said it would be better in 2 weeks and if not to come into the office for a checkup.  So he discharged me from the hospital and 4 days later I was back in the doctor's office with a BP of 178/102.  I was put on a BP medication that day by another doctor in the office.  It was too late though.  After many trips to my optometrist & then referrals to an opthamologist it was discovered that the blood pressure not being treated caused the blood vessels in my retina to bust.  What that means is that I have lost 75% vision in my right eye and about 30% in the left eye.  I've had 3 eye doctors tell me  that had I waited the 2 weeks like he told me I would either be dead from a stroke or completely blind in both eyes. 

I've been trying to deal with this as best as possible.  It's not easy considering I'm only 35 & they can't tell me if the damage will get worse.  The damage is permanent.  It can't be fixed.  I can't drive at night.  I have light sensitivity which means no long hours on the computer, no watching TV for long periods of time & wearing sunglasses even on cloudy days. 

I am so sad.  I know it could be worse & please don't for one second think I'm not grateful the vision I do have.  I am so blessed that I get to see my sweet girl's face everyday even if it is blurry.  I know I'm blessed but I am so frustrated that the doctor didn't listen to me.  That he didn't read my history.  The opthamologist at UNC Chapel Hill said my case is rare.  He's heard of it happening 5 times in his 35 year career.  When I asked why it was so rare he said because high blood pressure is the easiest thing to fix and most doctors don't make the mistake mine did.   

I'm dumbfounded by what has transpired.  I'm heartbroken.  I'm pissed to be honest.  So my lack of posting will be because I can't sit at the computer for long without my eyes hurting and my head aching. 

The reason I'm posting this is because I'm asking for prayers.  Prayers that it doesn't get worse over the course of the years.  That the headaches cease & that I can find peace with what has happened to me.  The lack of vision hasn't stopped me from working on projects around the house that I hope to share sometime next week.  I have a hair appointment tomorrow and then a dentist appointment on Wednesday to remove two of my remaining wisdom teeth. 

Thanks for taking the time to read this & if anything doesn't make sense please don't critique me.  Just remember I can't see very well & going back and proofreading honestly does hurt my eyes.  Hoping everyone had a great Monday!